The Subject of Pain is the Business We're In

How did I first hear about Louise Bourgeois? Hm, I think it was in one of Denise Stoklos' plays - Louise Bourgeois: I do, I undo, I redo.

According to herself, as cited in the New York Times, she "often spoke of pain as the subject of her art, and fear: fear of the grip of the past, of the uncertainty of the future, of loss in the present." Many people have found her art to be intense, erotic, witty and charged with psychoanalitic implications and conflicts.

Louise Bourgeois died this morning, and crap - that got me thinking about death again.

I was never good at dealing with the idea that I could lose somebody forever, you know. Like, what people say about there being a paradise where we'll all meet our loved ones, including our dogs, cats, and turtles... I could never really buy this. But that's just me. It's just a matter of personal opinion, and I actually envy people who get comfort from that heavenly notion. To me, death really sucks, it's a DEAD END. There's nothing soothing or comforting I can say about it. It sucks and we've got to live with it. Period.

Well, not everybody shares my angelical thoughts on this though, specially my family, who is mostly Christian, and that's fine - I actually do feel better when mom tries to comfort me with that delicious chocolate candy she learned from gramma (we're talking a family secret here). But being an agnostic can be an awfully lonely thing sometimes, and I guess that's why Louise Bourgeois was special for me in a way. This arrogant, rude, witty little woman would say things like "I've been to hell and back. It was wonderful."  "The subject of pain is the business I'm in.  To give meaning and shape to frustration and suffering. (...) The existence of pain cannot be denied. I propose no remedies or excuses."

I still have no explanation why my best friend died in a motorcycle accident, or why a good friend lost her father when she was still so young, or why another good friend suddenly lost both of her parents. Death comes like a hurricane. A tsunami. A natural catastrophe. An it SUCKS.

"To give meaning and shape to frustration and suffering..."
"The existence of pain cannot be denied. I propose no remedies or excuses." 


I guess Louise's words will echoe around inside my head for a while.

The subject of pain is the business we're in.

Thanks, Louise...

But with all due respect, I'm glad we never got too close. I wouldn't want to be the owner of that penis!